The "Blurse" of Living with Cancer

So many blessings, so many curses, so many "blurses" it's hard to keep count. I discovered that one of the blessings that can happen with a cancer diagnosis is new friendship that wouldn't have otherwise been found. Women, complete strangers, made themselves available to me for hours at a time if I needed it. I was so touched by the kindness of strangers (as I had been many years ago when I traveled the country at the age of 18 and 19). This morning I was reflecting how just over two and a half years ago I was the one needing comfort, support and consoling and now today I feel that I've come full circle, I'm finally in a place where I feel ready to be of support to friends and those who aren't friends (yet). My cancer has moved from "front and center" to the review mirror. I've moved from acute to maintenance care. I'm in a strange new world that doesn't have a map, discovering unchartered territory. But I didn't feel this way last week after treatment, if I'm being honest.

One of the "blurses" was meeting Susan Claeys. She was a cancer friend that I made through the weekly cancer support group I attended for over two years. Attending her celebration of life service brought her story into full circle for me. It became evident that cancer did not define her story as her family members shared bits and pieces about her life during the service. She was an activist, she stood up for children's rights, adopted children and loved to travel and garden. Her adult children shared stories that we had heard from Susan's perspective in our weekly support group and it was affirming to hear the same story from their perspectives. As my husband and I were driving home after the service, I realized that if it were not for cancer, I never would have met Susan. Etched in my mind's eye is the photograph displayed at her service with a scarf over her hair, big sunglasses and a bold, beautiful smile as she sits behind the wheel of some type of car that I cannot recall. The joy that she embodied in life served her well.

Susan and I physically only got together once in March 2022 and met at the Como Conservatory here in Saint Paul, Minnesota. The tropical gardens were a welcome delight as winter trudged on and yet we were chased out by the closing of the conservatory so we walked around outside, dodging slippery sidewalks and embracing at the end of our brief meeting. This, like my weekly support group, was a bond made through Zoom and COVID-19 that was a lifeline I couldn't have made it through without.

In my quest for health and desire to support my body through ongoing chemotherapy treatment every three weeks I have been working with some really interesting therapists and healers. The conversations that I frequently have with these people will sometimes blow my mind. We are capable of so much more than we realize. For example, take something simple like the Heart-Focused Breathing Technique recommended by HeartMath. "Combining the simple act of focusing on the heart area with a slightly deeper level of breathing helps draw energy away from distressed thoughts and feelings by interrupting your body's mechanical stress response." I like to put my hand on my heart while taking 5 or 6 heart-focused breaths and find this simple act to be balancing and comforting. If you are interested in learning more about HeartMath, you can contact Dr. Anna McConville. I've been working with her for a few months now and she is Amazing!

There are so many "blurses" (blessing and curse combined) that there just isn't time to detail each and every single one, but meeting Susan and being her friend was definitely one of them and meeting Dr. Anna and working with her is another.

Stay tuned for more insights and be well!